Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Students Dating College Professors
While relationships between students and professors arent unheard of, they can be a source for all kinds of problems. A professor is in a position of authority over a student, whether or not he or she is that students teacher or supervisor, which makes any dating arrangement tricky at best. Ultimately, if the two are consenting adults (theres no scenario where its OK for a high school teacher to date a current student), theres not much anyone can do to prevent them from pursuing a romantic relationship. But expect there to be consequences. Is It OK for College Students and Professors to Date? First things first: A student must be 18 years old to legally be able to consent to a relationship with an adult. Beyond that, some schools have specific rules about what to do if a student and a professor want to pursue a romantic relationship. If thats the case at your institution, know that the answer to your dating question lies in the faculty and/or student handbook. Breaking those rules could jeopardize the professors job and the students status. What to Do If Your School Has No Policy If youre at an institution where there arent official rules about dating, there are most likely some guidelines or unofficial community expectations. Is it frowned upon? Is it OK to date a professor, so long as youre not in one of his or her classes? Be aware that even if youre not breaking any rules, your relationship, and how its perceived could cause problems. Even if the professor isnt the students teacher when the relationship starts, problems could arise if the student ends up in the professors class later on. As a member of the faculty, the professor holds power over the student. Many schools discourage professor/student dating for these reasons. Additionally, other students may perceive a student dating a professor as having an unfair advantage. If youre dating a professor whose classes you take, students may think youre getting special treatment or grades you havent earned, no matter if you actually are. Say your professor/partner tutors you in a subject youre struggling with or helps you figure out which classes to take and get you the classes you need. From your perspective, youre just enjoying the benefits of a nice relationship. But its unfair to other students, who dont have the same access. A student dating a professor should be prepared for tension with peers, as they may envy the inside access to the faculty world. What If It Doesnt Work Out? Dating a professor can have tricky long-term consequences. If you break up, you may still have to see each other regularly around campus or, worse, in class. All those questions about fairness the relationship initially raised will remain, only the student may now be at a disadvantage, with his or her ex having power over grades and reputation with other faculty members. The student could potentially damage the professors reputation as well if he or she shares details of the relationship. Ultimately, you both need to consider the rules and have a discussion about the potential risks of a relationship. Be sure that its worth it because the costs could be severe.
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